Sonic Colors Wii Review

Color me impressed!

(that joke has been done to death, but I had to do it)

Sonic Colors is everything we wanted it to be, and more.

#1) Gameplay: Enjoyability

Sonic Colors is one of the most outrageously fun platformers I've played this year. It mixes side-scrolling with fast paced 3D action, and does it well. And while Colors was aimed towards younger children, I think it's safe to say it can be enjoyed by just about everyone.

Score: 9

#2) Gameplay: Playability

The controls are well implemented and are responsive about 90% of the time. Every once in a while, Sonic's lofty double jump caused me to miss a platform completely. The quick-dash (sidestepping) sections worked well enough (outside of 2-player, which I will discuss later), and the homing attack very rarely targeted anything you didn't want it to. HOWEVER, the difficulty curve was crap. Some levels were insanely easy, and others were flat out painful and ate up your lives like a Nega-Wisp. These difficult stages weren't the product of bad level design as much the product of unfairly demanding platforming sections (Screen zooms out and you're left wondering where Sonic even is). The Wisps (the sonic universe's equivalent of Mario's power-ups) aid in platforming instead of hindering it by giving Sonic new ways to travel. And since some Wisps aren't unlocked until late in the game, you can return to old levels with new abilities that help you discover hidden areas or getter better times. The learning curve was around 10 minutes for the average gamer, and 20 to 30 for people who don't normally game. As far as playability goes, this game is one of the best realized Sonic games in recent years.

Score: 7

#3) Replay Value: Play Again?

Sonic Colors boasts 44 levels, all of which use the Wisp powers and Sonic's classic speed to their advantage. Each level is unique and interesting, and theres a TON of exploring to do even after you've beaten a level several times. Some of the acts are enormous and encourage the player to look in every nook and cranny for hidden items. Even if you play through each level multiple times, you'll still find new areas.. As far as Replay Value goes, exploration and the genuine platforming are the centerfold in this surprisingly fun game.

Score: 9

#4) Replay Value: Extras

Sonic Colors focuses on two types of extras: Red Rings, and Unlockable Multiplayer Stages. Red Rings  are exactly what they sound like; I.E. Rings that are Red. Each stage has 5 to collect (excluding boss fights), and a plethora of different ways to collect them. They aren't pointless (or mandatory) either, they unlock new levels in the Sonic Simulator (multiplayer) and if you collect all 180, you gain the ability to (SPOILER ALERT)turn into super sonic in normal stages(END SPOILER ALERT). On the note of multiplayer, it honestly isn't that good. If you go too fast and leave your friend behind in the dust, they lose a life and are teleported back to you. This wouldn't be a big issue if you didn't start with 2 shared lives. The Sonic Simulator (which is SUPPOSED to be a mulitplayer experience) is much better if you play it like the rest of the game; single player.

Score: 7

#5) Graphics: Technical

Little to no graphical issues. The draw distance is huge and I never noticed any objects suddenly popping into existence. Sonic's model is fluidly animated (if a little low on the resolution side). Easily the best looking SEGA game on the Wii to date. I'd like to see this game in HD, then again, who wouldn't. It's certainly a good looking game.

Score: 9

#6) Graphics: Artistic

Sonic Colors flaunts some of the most brilliant environments I've ever seen.The worlds are varied and (dare I say it) COLORFUL. Everything looks great! Colors is easily one of the most beautiful games I've played, and is definitely in the top 5 best looking Wii games to date, just behind Mario Galaxy 2.

Score: 10

#7) Sound: Effects

SEGA has always had a thing for recycling old sound effects (Sonic 4 used a bunch of the effects from Sonic Heroes), thank goodness most of the ones used in Sonic Colors are new. other than that, it sounds much they way you'd expect it to. Enemies explode, balloons pop, rings ring (ding?).

Score: 8

#8) Sound: Music

Here's where Sonic Colors really shines. the music is absolutely incredible. The soundtrack is well done and some of the best the Sonic series has ever had. The music matches the environments perfectly, which is a plus (you'd be surprised by how many games mess this up). 

Score: 10

#9) Story

Sonic Colors is light on story, but what it sets out to accomplish, it does well. The only thing that really derails the writing is cheesy Saturday-morning-cartoon sound effects used during some of the cutscenes. Other than that, the writing is some of the best Sonic had ever had. The voice acting is surprisingly well done (SEGA made an excellent choice casting the new Sonic and Tails). Eggman's PA quips are exceptionally funny and add to the light-heartedness of the game. While the story isn't serious, it's well written and well voiced, and it shows.

Score: 8

#10) Bang For Your Buck

Sonic Colors for Wii - MSRP - 49.99$

For the content you get, I think the selling price is pretty reasonable (I'd be happier with 40$, but who wouldn't?). Although the game is short and the multiplayer is laughable, the campaign is fun while it lasts and there's a TON of replay value. I put in about 15 hours into my European copy and about 13 (so far) into my American copy (and I'm still playing!). While it isn't quite the 20 hour game that SEGA promised it would be, it's still a pretty good deal for one of the best Sonic games ever made.

Score: 9

THE FINAL VERDICT

Sonic Colors is one of the best Sonic games ever made. It's fun, fast, and beautiful. It does what it sets out to do and does it well. And while it has it's flaws, it's one gigantic leap in the right direction. Sonic Colors 2 anyone?

THE OVERALL SCORE: 8.6 PRETTY DAMN GOOD

-A Gamer Who Rants

P.R. (Post Rant): God this review took forever to get out. I've been a mixture of sick and busy lately. Sorry for the huge delay. Hopefully my next review (Donkey Kong Country Returns) won't take as long to get out. I should start playing today or tomorrow, depending on how I'm feeling. Also, HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone who celebrates it!

EDIT: My original review was an incoherent jumble of thoughts, that didn't come out quite the way i wanted them to. Here's the final review, and hopefully I never mess up that bad again. Seriously, how did I not catch this?

An Influx of Sonic Colors Reviews...

I'll let these reviews speak for themselves.

German GamePro Magazine


The video basically says that Sonic Colors is better than the classics, and the multiple editors who scored it in Germany gave it a 100%.

And within the past couple weeks these reviews have been released as well:
-86% from NGamer
-9/10 from Nintendo Power
-86% from ONM
-8/10 from German NGamer
-15/20 from French ONM
-92% from WiiMagazin (German)
-87% from GamePro Magazine
-100% from GamePro German Magazine


-A Gamer Who Rants


P.R. Turns out, my statement that Sonic Colors was going to be the best Sonic game in YEARS was entirely correct. Not a big surprise, considering I also said Sonic 4 was going to suck (and look how that turned out) Seriously, it wasn't fun at all.

God of War: Ghost of Sparta REVIEW

Kratos proves that even after all these years, he can still kick ass and take names.

#1) Gameplay: Enjoyability

While technology has changed a lot since Kratos’ debut in his original PS2 title, the man (and his games) remains much the same. You still interchange mashing the Triangle and Square buttons to create a string of light and heavy combos (I shouldn't have to explain that too much). But there's actually a new power that you unlock fairly early on. And this is the Fire Gauge. After you acquire it, you use it to deal extra damage to enemies by lighting the Blades of Athena on fire mid-swing. This can be used the rush weak enemies, or break through the armor of tougher ones. And while this sounds like a straight-forward addition, it really isn't. The gauge is limited, and charges over extended periods of non-use. More than once I used the gauge to kill a weak enemy, only to be tackled almost immediately by another enemy, that I could have stopped if I hadn't been so hasty in using up all my Fire. It sounds shallow, I know, but on higher difficulties, missing that one opportunity can be fatal. Since some enemies can only be killed with fire, the gauge becomes mandatory almost right after you get it. Normally this would piss me off, but since it's a rather useful ability, I actually WANTED to use it. It has some sweet side effects you earn as you upgrade it (don't worry, I won't spoil it for you) using the "souls" of your enemies (Kratos' currency of choice), so the Fire Gauge becomes an integral part of the this adventure. The game as a whole is just as fun as the original, and is DEFINITELY worth your time.
Score: 9

#2) Gameplay: Playability

I have 3 words for you: smooth difficulty curve. It’s been a while since I’ve played a game that grew as you played it. It starts easy, and finishes with you losing 90% of your health meter and screaming in frustration as you attempt to kill the last enemy on the screen (or at least that's what happened to me). And that's a good thing. Without a challenge, you might as well be staring at a sponge for 6 hours. The controls are smooth (although sometimes I had problems activating the fire gauge mid-combo, but that may have just been me being stupid), and it's easy to string together attacks (so easy it's almost effortless). It never feels like the game's fault when you die; Newcomers and casual gamers alike should be able to jump into the fray with ease.  

Score: 10

#3) Replay Value: Play Again?

Unfortunately, there isn't much of a point to playing through the campaign again (other than getting more souls to unlock extras). The campaign is about 6 hours long (I screwed around a bunch so it's probably more like 5), and almost entirely linear. Sure, there's a couple branching paths, but that's about the extent of your exploration. So if you play again, chances are it'll be to unlock something, or to experience the story again. I'm not so sure this game can truly warrant another playthrough beyond the obvious...
Score: 6

#4) Replay Value: Extras

Extras! Oh how how I love thee! Shall I count the ways? God of War: Ghost of Sparta is boasting with extras! You can re-watch the cutscenes, take on the Challenge of the Gods (rage your little heart out Kratos), visit the Temple of Zeus to unlock a BUNCH of neat extras, or mess around in the Combat Arena (my favorite feature). What do these things do? Well, you can unlock new costumes, fight any enemy on your own terms, and power up Kratos even further after the curtain falls on the last act. Overall, the extras are a solid addition to the title.
Score: 9 

#5) Graphics: Technical

Consider me impressed. This game is without a doubt, the most beautiful looking game on the PSP to date. The backgrounds are fully animated and life-like. While running around the doomed city of Atlantis you see molten debris being hurled into the air by an active volcano in the distance. The models stand out and look beautiful, and there is almost no difference between the (sometimes) pre-rendered cutscenes, and the actual game itself. All in all, graphically, this game is phenomenal. Too bad, that during the first hour, Ghost of Sparta is plagued by an inconsistent framerate (not game breaking by any means, but still very noticeable if you’re used to looking for graphical flaws), and vertical tearing every time the camera moves even the slightest bit. I will admit, the framerate improves greatly over the course of the game (as does the vertical tearing), but as it is still an issue I’m docking points for it.

Score: 8.5 (that’s the first time I’ve given a partial reduction since I’ve started reviewing; for anyone who’s keeping count)

#6) Graphics: Artistic

While this Ghost of Sparta is easily the best looking PSP game on the market, artistically, there’s a lot left to be desired. Sure, it LOOKS good, but there’s nothing special about it. It’s basically a culmination of all the things we’ve seen before (cool, giant monster, weren’t the ones in God of War 3 bigger?). The only truly unique environment is the sunken city of Atlantis (as in the one Kratos destroys, and revisits in the center of a giant whirlpool; that part was just awesome). Art-wise, there’s nothing WRONG, but also nothing that makes it stick out. Although there is a lot going on in the background (the backgrounds are more than just still photos of landscapes), beyond that, the environments are bland and uninteresting. While this isn’t a major issue, it does certainly take away from the experience.

Score: 7

#7) Sound: Effects

There isn't to much to say in this department. Everything sounds the way it should. I wish Kratos had some more creative grunts though, because hearing the same 3 "HURRRAGHHH"'s throughout he entire game does get old fast.

Score: 8.5

#8) Sound: Music

HOLD. DEVILS. POT OF TEA.

Epic orchestral music covered with incomprehensible lyrics in another language; that's what you're listening to while you play. Not going to end up in my iTunes, but it definitely fits the mood of the game.
Score: 8

#9) Story

I'm going to be extremely vague here, because I don't want to spoil the game for you. Kratos is searching for his long lost brother Deimos. In the process, he destroys an entire city, causes a volcano to erupt, crosses 3 continents, and visits Disney World! But seriously though, the story is good! As in really good! Kratos actually shows emotion beyond pure anger. The story was well written, and the cutscenes actually do more than just push the game forward into the next area. It isn't just a side-story though, it explains a TON about why Kratos is so determined to destroy Olympus, and actually makes you more attached to the man behind the mask.
Score: 9

#10) Bang for Your Buck

God of War games have never been very long, so the fact that Ghost of Sparta flaunts a 5 hour campaign (and a ton of extras) is no surprise. 40$ is a bit steep for the content you recieve, so I would suggest waiting til' the price drops below 30$ (if it ever does).
Score: 7 

THE FINAL VERDICT

God of War: Ghost of Sparta is an enjoyable and accessible new entry in Sony’s multi-million dollar franchise, and is a must play for experienced gamers and newcomers alike.


THE OVERALL SCORE: 8.2/10 PRETTY DAMN GOOD


-A Gamer Who Rants


P.R.(Post Rant): Finally, Blogger added the ability to underline text. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME.

God of War: Ghost of Sparta

Should have a copy of the newest God of War PSP game within the next couple days (YAY FOR LEAKS), which means that my review will probably be up before next Monday. Just a small heads up!

EDIT: Got my copy :D I'm about 5 hours in!

RE-EDIT: Just beat the game, plan on finishing the review by Wednesday, but I'm sick, so it may be longer than that. Sorry for the delay!

RE-RE-EDIT: It's 2 in the morning, and I'm already half finished with the review. I'm going to finish the section I'm working on, and then call it a night. The review will DEFINITELY be out Wednesday.

RE-RE-RE-EDIT: THE REVIEW IS OUT, GO READ IT.


-A Gamer Who Rants

Kirby's EPIC Yarn Review (FINALLY)

5 days without a post and I've FINALLY finished my review for Kirby (been busy), so HERE IT IS:

I honestly can't think of another series that is so disgustingly cute, but yet SO fun to play. So when I picked Kirby's Epic Yarn the other day, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into.

#1) Gameplay: Enjoyability

The amount of happiness that shoots off the screen in this game is astounding. It's hard to find games that are just flat out FUN to play. Even jaded video game veterans such as myself, can't help but crack a smile as Kirby turns into a car and honks his way through the levels. Kirby's Epic Yarn is a legitimate joy to play. It's glad to see gaming be fun instead of serious for once.

Score:9

#2) Gameplay: Playability

Kirby's Epic Yarn plays the way that a platformer SHOULD. It's extremely easy to just pick up and play, even for people who've never played a Kirby game before. The only complaint I really have playability-wise, is there was never really a moment where I went "Whoa, this is HARD!" To some, that's a good thing, to others (Me), a bad thing. The lack of a real challenge didn't really bother me, because Kirby games have never really been difficult anyway.

Score:9

#3) Replay Value: Play Again?

Like most Kirby games, the replay value is based on both the collectibles, and how much of a Kirby fan you are. So this part is a bit up in the air depending on YOUR personal opinion of our pink little friend. But since this is my review, I'm doing my opinion, feel free to let me know if you feel otherwise in the comments. Anyway, I'm a Kirby fan (played through the game twice), and the game was fun but not "OMG I HAVE TO PLAY IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW" fun, so I've scored it as such.

Score: 7

#4) Replay Value: Extras

If you've ever played a Kirby game before, you know that theres tons of stuff to collect. Lots of hidden items and smaller treasures called Beads are scattered throughout the levels. More than once I caught myself striving to reach that treasure chest that was JUST out of reach. You can use the items you find to build a sweet pad for our favorite little buddy too! At the beginning of the game you get a little house that you can decorate with your precious treasures. Kirby goes out of its way to make you WANT to get all of the extra stuff. And if you're a perfectionist like I am, there's enough content to warrant another playthrough.

Score:8

#5) Graphics: Technical

I didn't notice any technical blemishes during my first or second playthrough. As in; AT ALL. It was pretty nice, considering that most of the games I've played during the past year have had SOME kind of issue in this area. Obviously the coding was done pretty meticulously, and I respect that.

Score: 10

#6) Graphics: Artistic

This game is absolutely BRILLIANT artistically. The Kirby universe has never looked so interesting!
More than once I was staring at the screen in awe as the world grew by itself to create new levels. Enemies actually unravel like they're made of yarn when you grab them. The way that patchwork elements of the world come together, create some of the most interesting artistic elements I've ever seen. A well realized world makes Kirby's Epic Yarn flat out fun to look at.

Score:10

#7) Sound: Effects

The sounds are cheery and make sense in context. The only real problem, was that some of them became a bit... repetitive over the course of the game. Not a BIG issue, but I'm here to nitpick so that's what I'll do.

Score: 8

#8) Sound: Music

When I heard that the music in Epic Yarn game was largely orchestral, I was more than a bit skeptical. So I was surprised (and overjoyed) to find that the music was actually as well written as the Mario Galaxy series. I'm not ashamed to say that some of the soundtrack may find it's way into my iTunes folder in the coming weeks. Color me impressed Nintendo.

Score: 10

#9) Story

Kirby's Epic Yarn is narrated by an ominous voice, that tells the story of Kirby and Prince Fluff (and their epic quest to save Patch Land). It plays out like a child's storybook, which, as far as I know is the intention. So Hal Labs and Good-Feel accomplished their goal in that respect. Is the story very entertaining? Not particularly. It felt like the only purpose of the stale narrative was to push the game forward into the next world. But Kirby has ALWAYS been like that.

Score: 6

#10) Bang for Your Buck

On the day of it's release, Kirby's newest game is selling for 50$ (which makes sense since it's a second party Nintendo title and all). I'll make this short and sweet. I've played a lot of games. Kirby took me about 8 hours to beat (not including collectibles, and the time I spent playing it with my friends). Total, I've probably put in about 16 hours, and don't regret it (two playthroughs). So it met my expectations on the enjoyment I would get out of a Kirby title for the price.

Score: 8

THE FINAL VERDICT

Let's be blunt here. Kirby is a cute platformer series, and has always BEEN a cute platformer series. So if you don't like what you see, stay away. It's pretty straight-forward. I like Kirby, so I thought the game was just as EPIC as the title implied. Here's hoping you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

THE OVERALL SCORE: 8.5/10 PRETTY DAMN GOOD

-A Gamer Who Rants

The Death of Console Gaming...?

Someone in the Wii Forum on Gamespot made a post concerning what they considered "the death of console gaming".

Basically, the guy said that game developers have stopped taking risks, and that all we've been seeing lately is sequels to original IP's, and more Call of Duty clones.

And in a way this is true. People in the gaming world HAVE stopped producing new and innovative games. They stick with what they know sells, and run with it. But this isn't entirely the developer's fault. It's also OUT fault as gamers. If we didn't buy the next big Call of Duty game, then the developer would stop making new ones. They'd have to go back to the drawing board and find a new formula that works. So in the end, if console gaming DOES die, it'll be just as much our fault as the 3rd party developers that bring us games like Dead Space and Epic Mickey.

And on the note of original IP's; there is only so much creativity in the world. At some point, the well of ideas is going to run dry, and original games are going to stop coming out. This is inevitable. Just some food for thought.

-A Gamer Who Rants

P.R. (Post Rant) Wow, short post today... And by the way, this is just filler while I work on my Kirby's Epic Yarn review. It's taking longer than I thought it would. And this post was inevitable, so nows as good a time as any to get it out there.

More Sonic Colors Footage!

Thanks again to The Sonic Stadium for providing this awesome footage:

Sonic Colors - Sweet Mountain Act 1

Sonic Colors - Sweet Mountain Act 2

Sonic Colors - Planet Wisp Act 1

Sonic Colors - Planet Wisp Act 2

This game just looks better and better each day!

Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1 Review

A few days ago, I posted that I believed Sonic 4: Ep. 1 was going to be HORRIBLE. And I'm happy to say that I was wrong. It isn't horrible, but it isn't as great as critics seem to think it is.

#1) Gameplay: Enjoyability

It's a Sonic game right? You know what you're getting yourself into the moment you pick up the controller. However, it doesn't help that the (not quite right) physics engine hinders the player from enjoying much of the experience. If you don't hold the right button when you jump, you stop midair like you just ran into an invisible wall (which can get you killed more than you'd think it would). There are times in this game you will want to chuck the controller at the screen (As two examples, Carnival Street Act 3, and the E.G.G. Station Zone). But the experience remains mostly what it should; fast (it tries, I'll give it that) paced speed driven platforming. The game itself TRIES to be fun, and MOSTLY accomplishes it's goal... MOSTLY.

Score: 6

#2) Gameplay: Playability

As i stated earlier, the physics in this game are pretty interesting (and not in a good way). If SEGA had taken the physics from Sonic 2 or 3, I think everybody (purists included) would have been MUCH happier. Often the homing attack does not target the things you want it to and you'll fall to your death as you attempt to cross a pit. Mostly, the game is pretty easy to pick up and play, if you've played Sonic in the past. But other than that, I'd suggest replaying one of the Genesis era games (which were actually fun).

Score: 6

#3) Replay Value: Play Again?

Do I feel the need to play this game again? Not really. It wasn't super fun the first time around. I'll probably give it another go before the release of Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 2, but most likely never touch it again after that (or until then).

Score: 4

#4) Replay Value: Extras

There weren't any extras, short of the Chaos Emeralds (which have been in every Sonic game since the beginning of time). So, no real reason to play again for anything other than the initial experience.

Score: 2

#5) Graphics: Technical

No real graphical glitches. The game itself looks pretty good, if even a little cheesy (in the good classic sonic way). Enemies had minute details that made them look more intimidating than in the Genesis era. There were a few times when Sonic's spin-dash animation went INTO the ground, but other than that the game itself played. Never noticed any kind of slowdown at any moment. As whole, for what it was, the game looks pretty damn good.

Score: 9

#6) Graphics: Artistic

The art is a style we've come to expect from Sonic, and it's never looked this good. Time has taken it's toll on a few of the more dated environments, but all these years later it still LOOKS good.

Score: 8

#7) Sound: Effects

I was a bit ticked off about this. 80% of the sound effects used in this game were recycled from previous Sonic games. All of the menu sounds were ripped straight from Sonic Heroes. In this area, it just used what was already proven to work; Instead of going to the effort of creating a new sound effect, SEGA recycled the old. However, the new ones sound pretty good.

Score: 7

#8) Sound: Music

This is where I thought Sonic 4 would excel, and quite ironically, this is where Sonic 4 REALLY fell flat. The music is mediocre at best. No memorable tunes. Nothing I'd go out of my way to listen to again. More often than not, the background music reminded me of being in an elevator. A really tiny boring elevator.

Score: 3

#9) Story

Same as always. Sonic chases Eggman. Eggman runs from Sonic. They fight. Sonic wins. And then they do it all over again. Sonic 4 is HARDLY a story driven adventure, but it accomplishes what little it sets out to do in this area.

Score: 7

#10) Bang for Your Buck

Do the math with me.

4 Zones with 3 Acts each = 12 acts total

If each act takes approximately 5 minutes (which not all of them do), then thats 1 hour of playtime.

Add in 4 bosses and the amount of time it take you to beat 7 special stages, and you have another 30 minutes.

Plus the 10 minute final boss (if you don't die a ton like I did)

Add it all together and you're spending 15$ on approximately 2 hours of fresh play time.

Considering the average game is 9-10 hours long (and costs 50$-60$), this is only slightly less than what you would expect for the price. However the lack of compelling features makes the game have less content than other cheaper more compelling games. But if you like Sonic, you'd probably enjoy (or hate) this game more.

Score: 7

THE FINAL VERDICT

This was the little Sonic game that couldn't. I wanted it to be good, I really did. But it really wasn't. 

THE OVERALL SCORE: 5.9/10 MEH

Edit: I revised my initial score some after rereading my review for the third time. There were some things I missed, and some things I was too nice about. I'll be sure to get things right the first time in my Kirby's Epic Yarn review next week.

Let's all hope that Sonic Colors (WHICH LOOKS FREAKING AMAZING) is better than this crap.

New Sonic Colors Trailer (GameSpot Exclusive)

My Sonic 4 Review is... Uhm... Pending...

Yeah... so, that Sonic 4 review I said I would release today? Not gonna' happen. I'm a little less than, uhm, thrilled with this title, and need more time to... criticize it. And by that, I mean I don't want to bash the game to smithereens like I did in my original review (which had LOTS of profanity and numerous instances when I may or may not have threatened SEGA).

I SHOULD be able to release a mildly unbiased review tomorrow (in which I might just rip the game a new one anyway, depends on my mood).

ALL MY HATE

-A Gamer Who Rants

Review Information

Since today is the long awaited release of Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1, I figured now would be as good a time as any to go over my review procedure (since, chances are, my review for Sonic 4 will be up tomorrow).

It isn't TOO complicated or painful (unless you hate reading).

Like most people, I reviews on a 1-10 rating scale. 1 being the game sucks harder than a Hoover, 10 being that you will orgasm at least 7 times before you beat the game. My scores are an average of 10 smaller reviews for each separate aspect of the game. These aspects are as follows:

#1) Gameplay: Enjoyability

THE most important aspect of every game (and a question every gamer should ask themselves before they submit a review to any site); is the game FUN? I don't see much of a point playing a game if you don't enjoy doing it, do you?

#2) Gameplay: Playability

Are the controls well implemented and easy to use? How long did it take to get used to playing the game (learning curve)?

#3) Replay Value: Play Again?

Pretty simple. Was the game fun enough the first time around to warrant another playthrough? And are there any legitimate reasons to do so beyond the main campaign?

#4) Replay Value: Extras

In this day and age, games need to give people a reason to play them over and over again. One way games do this is in the form of unlockable extras. Does the game have Extras, are they optional, and is there any point to collecting them?

#5) Graphics: Technical

Are the textures reasonably high quality? How does the animation look? Is the draw distance reasonable for the type of game? Generally, does the game LOOK good? Stable framerate?

#6) Graphics: Artistic

Are the environments dull and bland, or lush and magical? If at any point you have to stop and marvel at how mind-bendingly beautiful something is, chances are, the game had good artistic direction.

#7) Sound: Effects

When you hit something with a sword, does it sound like you actually hit it with a sword? When you're wading slowly through a pond does it sound like you're splashing around like a maniac? Are the sounds muffled or crisp and clear? Essentially, do things sound realistic for the environment of the game?

#8) Sound: Music

Does the soundtrack for the game make you cringe, or work well with what you're seeing on the screen? Is the music enjoyable to listen to? Would I put it on my iPod?

#9) Story

Is the story of the the game believable? Do the characters draw you in and make you want to know what happens next? Did you look at the clock and suddenly realize that you'd played 2 hours longer than you originally intended? Is the voice acting good (or even decent)? Hows the writing?

#10) Bang for Your Buck

In today's economy, gamers have to decide carefully what games they are going to purchase. Is the game worth your money? Does the content you get, match the price you pay?

And of course, The Final Verdict; which is just a summary of the previous points and an average of the previous scores.

And that's pretty much it. God that post ending up being more complicated than I intended...

Oh well.

Look forward to tomorrow's review for Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1 (If all goes as planned); And pray my posts never end up this long again!

Waaaaaayyyyyy past cool...

SONIC ANNIVERSARY LEAKED! This could either go extremely well, or crash and burn like a fat woman eating a turkey leg at the county fair. I'm praying for extremely well.

And for those of you who are too (is it sad I actually originally wrote "two" instead of "too" here?) lazy to click the link, here's a copy of the article:

"Details Coming from Sonic Paradise, Scarce

This just breaking within the hour–the Spanish website Sonic Paradise has confirmed with a Sega representative from the Spain division that Sonic Anniversary and a third entry in the Mario and Sonicseries are on deck for 2011.

We do not have a ton of details yet; they are pending from Sonic Paradise, cited above. What we do know right now is that Sonic Anniversary is not a compilation. That would contradict earlier sentiments that it is, stemming from a leaked document detailing conversations between Sony and Sega last September. We have learned this could be PS3 exclusive–which would put it in line with those document leak details–but that too could change, and for that reason it’s advised not to label this the true 20th anniversary game just yet.

Right now, the smart thinking is that the third M&S title will most likely be related to the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, and if that holds, it will be a continuation of the Olympics series, instead of something more unique, like a platformer.

We are awaiting more details from Sonic Paradise and we will relay those here when they are made available–and again, for our Spanish speaking readers you can follow along in your language at Sonic Paradise. Stay with TSSZ News for more on this developing story–and be assured, we will ask related questions at the Sega booth tomorrow as New York Comic Con 2010 ends."

Thank you Sonic Paradise and TSSZ for making my night!

(this doesn't count as tomorrows post, I'll still be updating tomorrow for those of you who care)

EDIT: I have no idea what to write about today, so this is today's post. Sorry to anybody who's actually keeping track of this.

If you like to sail the sea...

Today I'm going to talk about one of the biggest issues plaguing the gaming market! No, not Bobby Kotick but... You guessed it! Pirating!

With the way that technology has progressed, it's no wonder that thievery can now be accomplished over the internet! And to think 10 years ago if you had AOL and a dial-up connection, your were the coolest person you knew!

Things sure have changed since then, and along with it, the way people commit crimes. What used to be called stealing is now a widely accepted act known as pirating. No I'm not going to bash people who pirate games (or anything for that matter), because honestly, not all pirates are bad. In fact, some people pirate games first to try them out, and if they enjoy it, drop the cash to buy it.

But it is one thing to steal from a major corporation that really doesn't take a hit when you jack their stuff, and another thing entirely to steal from that guy across the street who works hard to pay his bills. Amnesia: The Dark Descent and Frictional Games (the amazing 5 man team that worked their asses off to bring us this game) is a PERFECT example of the way that pirating affects independent game developers. And as a matter of fact, todays post is more specifically about Indy Games and what pirating does to their sequels and the people who make them.

Get a load of this (not so) bite-sized post that I found on the developers blog for Frictional Games (If your too lazy to read the really long wall of text, scroll past the italics and i'll sum it up for you. Gee, aren't I a nice guy?):

"it is time to discuss pirating and how this has affected us. First of all, it is quite easy to see that there are tons of torrents/shared files of Amnesia available. When we search the web to see if any news on Amnesia has popped up, almost 50% of the results go to a pirated version of the game. This is of course makes us sad, but it is also something one has to deal with when living in today's world. We are well aware that the same technology that allows pirating of our game, is the same that enabled us create the game in the first place. Without a fast Internet and a connected world we would never be able to work together or distribute our games. But this does not mean that we should just ignore piracy and it is important to figure out what kind of impact it has on us.

As I have said, the sales have been above what we had expected, but compared to the response we have gotten it still feels kind of low. For example, the very hyped Minecraft has gotten more than ten times the sales compared us. While being a vastly different game compared to Amnesia, there are some differences that are worth discussing. In terms of the amount of PR received, I would say that Minecraft is more well known, but Amnesia is not far behind. Google gives us two times the hits compared to them and a popular pirate site gives Minecraft double the distributors compared to us. We have gotten more reviews from popular outlets, Minecraft has gotten more viral-like PR. As I said, I think Minecraft has the upper hand here, but not by that much. Still, Minecraft has a over ten times the sales compared to Amnesia, which is a huge difference.

Our conclusion is that a large part of this is due to the lack of pirating in Minecraft compared to us. As I mentioned above, Minecraft has 10x the sales, but only 2x the torrent distributors. A Google search on the subject also turns up twice the hits for Amnesia. It seems like more people are pirating Amnesia and we think there are two main reasons for this. Both of them are related to the single-player nature of the experience.

First of all, once you have played Amnesia there is little meaning to play again. A person pirating the game and finishing it has no real reason to go back. So even if a player likes it and determines that it is well worth paying for, there is no incentive to do so. It is quite common to read on forums that people have downloaded a pirated version and say that they will probably buy it later. The question here is how many actually does this? Even if you really liked the game and want to support the developers, it basically feels like money down the drain since you get nothing extra after paying. This is not the case for a game like Minecraft where more content is released all the time and the game is designed to be highly replayable (and darn it for that, damn time consumer!).

The second reason is the lack of any proper protection. Not only does Amnesia not have any real protection from the start, there is almost no way for us to force people into buying ad-hoc. What we can do is to release patches, but this only affect people that have not been able to start the game, a small part of the user base. So once the game is out we are basically screwed and we can not do much to make people chose a legal over a pirated one. Minecraft requires a server connection and is constantly updated, effectively pushing people towards buying the legit version.

So what to do about this? One way is to create different kinds of games, where we can implement these sort of things. But that just feels wrong. A developer should not design a game based on how it can be protected and doing so can only lead to bad things for our games (to avoid feeding potential flames; this is based on what we want to do with our games, not what we think of others who might do this). What we want to continue doing is to create single player games that try to evolve the way in which videogames tell stories and evoke emotions. Another option is to expand our horizons and try other platforms. This is what we are currently looking into. We do not know what this will mean as of yet, but hopefully we can continue to expand platforms and not limit them."

Tl;dr: Frictional Games has been working their asses off for this game (which has been reviewed extremely well) and their taking a hard hit from pirating, which may force them as a whole to actually scrap their next project. And why? Because nobody is buying their game!

Another not as critical example is 2D Boy, the developer of the critically acclaimed World of Goo (which did so well in fact that it was re-released on the Wii Shop Channel). And hows this for a reward for actually buying the game; it's getting a sequel! Now this is the important part, so listen closely. IF NOBODY HAD BOUGHT THE GAME, IT WOULDN'T BE GETTING THE AFOREMENTIONED (I love that word) SEQUEL!

I mean, if you owned a store, and everybody stole your apples instead of buying them, would you continue to carry them? Of course not! You'd be losing money every single day that you allowed the act to continue. But chances are, instead of flat out not carrying apples anymore, you'd make them harder to steal (effectively punishing the people who actually buy them in the process) by beefing up security.

Games implement this increased security in what is commonly termed as copy-protection. The protection usually prevents the gamer from playing the game without the original disc, or unless certain conditions are met. Ubisoft actually makes gamers stay connected to the internet while they play, or the game won't start. As a matter of fact, if you're mid game and suddenly your internet connection dies, your shit out of luck.

The thing is, usually within a week of ANY games release, some crafty fellow creates a workaround, in the form of a crack or a user licence agreement breaking patch! Which adds another layer to pie that is piracy (bad metaphor, I know). With increased security, playing games can become difficult, inconvenient, or even flat out painful. An example of this is disc based computer games. Most games today are installed on a hard drive, and run ENTIRELY off said hard drive. The only real purpose of the disc after the initial installation is to act as a key, that allows you to PLAY the game. If you try to start it and the disc isn't in the CD (or DVD) drive, a nifty little window pops up, instructing you to insert the disc, preventing you from enjoying your legally purchased game. Now heres an issue with that. For people who have lots of computer games (like myself) it's hard to keep track of the physical copy of the discs, to the point where finding the damn disc can be a discouraging task in itself. Which makes you want to buy games that much less, considering that pirating and implementing a patch is cheaper AND more convenient. It's just another way that people who abide by the rules get fucked for playing nice.

This is applicable outside the gaming world as well. Lets go back to that hypothetical store you owned earlier (the one that sold the apples you forgetful douche). If, to stop the apple stealing problem, you started doing a 5 minute body search whenever someone entered or exited the store, do you think your customers would continue to return? If you answered yes to the previous question, then you are either a sarcastic bastard, a lazy bastard who won't drive to the market a bit further down the street, or a dumbass. So for those of you people who fell into those 3 categories, the CORRECT answer is NO, you wouldn't continue shopping there, because it's an inconvenience and a complete waste of your time.

Horrible apple store metaphors aside, the point that I'm getting at is; don't steal from Independent Developers who actually NEED the money to continue making great games we want to buy. Steal from Activision, or EA or something (I'm joking, I don't condone piracy in any way shape or form, don't sue me!). So to sum up an unintentionally long-winded post in two words:

Piracy=Bad

Sincerely,

A Gamer Who Rants

P.R. (Post Rant) It's 4:25 A.M. and for whatever reason I'm still awake, so I'm going to go pass out now. K bye.

E.M.P.R. (Even More Post Rant) Marley and Me and Ink are two ridiculously well written movies, if you haven't seen them, go buy or rent them (Don't pirate them silly, didn't I just waste an hour writing about how much piracy sucks gigantic nuts?) Also, I guess I lied earlier, I did end up bashing pirates a bit, didn't mean to, it just kind of happened. Please forgive me?